How to Choose Your Bridesmaids and Maid of Honor

Your engagement and the days leading up to your wedding are important and filled with big decisions. Which flowers should you get for the centerpieces? Should you choose a band or DJ? Pearl invitations from the printer or DIY wedding invitation kits? But, one of the biggest decisions you will make is who will be standing beside you when you say “I do”. No, not your husband – you’ve already got him! – It’s time to choose your bridesmaids and maid of honor.

If you are lucky, this decision will be an easy one – your best friend is your sister who lives in the same town and is thrilled to help you plan your perfect wedding. Unfortunately, that will not be the case for everyone. While there are ceremonial duties for your wedding party, they have some important roles to fill as well. The maid of honor is traditionally the woman who visits reception halls, bridal stores and florists with you. She helps you feel confident in your decision of calla lilies instead of hyacinths, corrals your bridesmaids and handles all those small emergencies that could stress you out on your wedding day.

Make sure your maid of honor can handle the stress of the job. If your best friend is flaky and cannot keep appointments, she may not be the best person to choose. Another consideration is what else is happening in your maid of honor’s life. Is she pregnant? Maybe she is going through a divorce or recently had a death in the family.   Being maid of honor is a big commitment! Make sure your first choice has the ability to be there for you and handle this honor.

If choosing just one maid of honor is too difficult, having “Honor Attendants” is a great alternative! This allows all your close friends to take an important role in the wedding ceremony. Two friends can sign the marriage license, one can carry the groom’s ring, another can stand closest to you in the ceremony, one can hold your bouquet and another can straighten your train. This method gives everyone a special job and helps them feel involved.

Choosing your bridesmaids can be an equally daunting task. Begin by considering the number of guests you plan to invite. A good rule of thumb is one bridesmaid for every groomsman or one bridesmaid for every 50 guests. That means about two or three for small weddings, three or four for larger weddings and five or more for very large weddings.

If you are having a difficult time narrowing down your list, talk with your fiancée. Likely, he will be able to help you whittle down the names to your final few choices. If you are still having a difficult time, consider only including very close friends and family. Remember, this is your wedding and you can choose whomever you wish to have standing next to you on this special day!

Being a bridesmaid does not have as big of a time commitment as the maid of honor, but there are still several duties to carry out in the weeks leading up to the ceremony. From supplying wedding shower favors to organizing your bachelorette party and purchasing their dresses, these ladies will be busy! Make sure they are prepared to put in the time and the money. If you have a woman in mind to be a bridesmaid, but feel she cannot meet the financial demands, be understanding when you offer her the honor. Let her know you would love for her to be a bridesmaid, but if she cannot for any reason, that you understand. These women are your close friends and they will not want to let you down. Try not to put them in the position of feeling badly if they cannot be a bridesmaid for you. If your budget allows, and your fiancée agrees, you could offer to purchase her dress and ease some of the financial burden.

The best part of this process will be asking your bridesmaids and maid of honor to play their important roles in your wedding ceremony! You could consider taking the ladies out to a “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” dinner or sending them cute little notes or packages in the mail! This will be a fun time for you and these ladies to bond and celebrate your upcoming wedding, so kick it off right by having a festive way of asking for their participation in your wedding.

About the Author:
Amanda Meyer, Bridal Elements is your source for all wedding accessories such as wedding cake toppers, unity candles, cake servers and more.